mindfulness Tag

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22 May
In mid 2019, I experienced one of the biggest life changes anyone can go through----I went through a divorce after almost 20 years of marriage. Despite the parting being amicable, I have to admit that the aftermath was tough. I felt lost, scared, and anxious, as I have never been truly alone in my entire adult life. Though I am an introvert by nature, the thought of actual solitude was terrifying and I equated being alone with being lonely, in a way only a recovering codependent will ever truly understand. I would have overwhelming episodes of sadness, feelings of loss, and I would be gripped by incapacitating feelings of anxiety because I felt like I was losing control. Even worse, I could not recognize nor process these feelings. All of these difficult emotions would be masked by a huge smile, denial, and protected by impenetrable walls.
26 Nov
2020 has been a challenging year for everyone. But despite the chaos, uncertainty, and anxiety brought about by 2020, I see myself looking back at the past year and I realize that I truly have a lot to be grateful for. I AM THANKFUL FOR... MY HEALTH. I am embarrassed to admit it, but I often take it for granted. However, now more than ever, I wake up thankful that my body is healthy and it allows me to do the things I love and be able to expand on them. I have been better at self care and making more effort to nourish both my body and my soul. This year, I fell in love with paddleboarding, climbed Half Dome, ventured out on my bike again after my accident, went snowboarding after more than 10 years, and I jumped off an airplane. I am so excited to see what is next in store for me!
31 Aug
A friend of mine shared this beautiful poem with me almost 20 years ago. I had no idea then that this would resonate with me in a deeply profound way through numerous points in my life. It made me realize how much he really knew me, more than sometimes I even knew myself. It is amazing when you are truly seen and heard by another person and that means everything. It is such a rarity with the ubiquity of social media and the constant curating and crafting of our personas. Allowing ourselves to be authentic and vulnerable is one of the hardest things to do and something that I am constantly working towards.
23 Jun
For all my life, I have prided myself in being very positive, optimistic, and full of joy. I always have a smile and a hug for everyone and I love to have fun and laugh. I never showed any weakness or asked for help when I needed it because I thought that was what being strong was all about. I also never really learned how to feel and process my emotions or learn to be vulnerable. No matter how I was feeling inside, I kept a bright, smiling facade that I always showed the world. I kept myself so busy, jam-packing my schedule with work, meetings, projects, events, dinners, nights out, parties, and dates. I surrounded myself with people and had no time to really listen to myself and know how I truly feel. During the past year, because of the drastic changes that have occurred in my life, I decided to start seriously working on myself: finding out what I want on my own, what gives me joy, what I want to cut out of my life, what I like, how to be vulnerable, how I want my life to unfold, where I see myself in the future, and the impact that I want to leave on the world. Then COVID hit.
18 May
As most of the world begins to open up from a global quarantine, I look back at what really got me through this uncertain and chaotic time virtually unscathed. Meditation The quarantine afforded me the time to truly go inward. My cats would wake me up at sunrise then I would start meditating before I start work. I probably would have gone crazy had it not for this really great meditation app called Insight Timer. It has really changed my life. Initially, I would wake up grumpy as I am not a morning person. I usually jump off the bed and get my morning started without even making my bed. Now, the early mornings allow more time for gratitude, bed-making, meditation, and even breakfast! I also end my day with an evening meditation. I even created a SoundCloud sleep meditation playlist.
11 May
Hi there, You're gonna notice that I took an uber protracted hiatus from writing. I have to be completely transparent with you, dear reader, but I went through a drastic change in my marital status last year. It was a complete upheaval and I was truly unable to write (nor did I have the motivation to write). Not only did I have to say goodbye to someone I loved, but I had to say goodbye to who I thought I was as a person. Put it this way, when I got married at 21, that marriage was so intrinsically attached to my identity that I really felt quite lost there for quite awhile. I didn't know what I wanted, who I was, or who I wanted to be. About 90% of who I thought I was no longer existed and I had no idea who or how to be.
08 Jun

Last weekend was a big lesson on non-attachment. In the Buddhist and Jainist philosophies, attachment or attraction to worldly possessions and wealth make a person more unhappy because he or she is more likely to commit sin to acquire and hold on to what he/she...

28 May

I have a confession to make. I am an addict. It is a full-blown addiction and nearly out of control. It is something that has been going on for about two years now. I admit it. I am addicted to Classpass. I have never been one of...

01 Mar
Every year, for the past three years, I would gather all my girlfriends and celebrate my birthday in a very special way. We would go through our closets, take out clothes that we love but no longer wear, shoes that we never use, and handbags gathering dust.  Espousing organizational guru and "tidying-up" philosopher, Marie Kondo, we endeavored to spark joy by releasing ourselves from the bindings of our stuff. We pack these up and take them to Lotus House Thrift Chic Boutique.  
04 Jan
2017 was a roller-coaster ride of a year: went to Cuba for the 4th time, got hit by an Uber driver, established a 110 gallon saltwater fish tank, incurred property damage from Hurricane Irma, visited Paris and went on a road trip through Morocco, went back up on aerial silks after a loooong hiatus, got to meet the most adorable baby in the world; my new nephew Haru, witnessed one of my best friends and my brother-in-law get married after I introduced them 5 years ago, lost a friend who passed away unexpectedly, and celebrated my 17th year wedding anniversary and the end of 2017 in Mexico City. As we say hello to 2018, I look to the past and the future to generate my 2018 goals and resolutions.